Occupy Gainesville Set to Become Laziest Occupy Wall Street Spinoff

Occupy Gainesville Set to Become Laziest Occupy Wall Street Spinoff

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The non-violent demonstration best known as Occupy Wall Street is stronger than ever. Started by a passionate few, the “We Are The Union 99%” movement generally insists the government stops bailing out corrupt corporations and starts bailing out the bottom 99% of Americans. Since its inception, it has spread to hundreds of other communities and the population of last weekend’s rallies have been estimated in upwards of 30,000 people.

The Occupy movement has grown so large that even the media conglomerates being protested have no choice but to acknowledge it on air – however they have been attempting to spin the protests as nothing more than stereotypical hippie drum circles. Emphasizing the archetype of a college liberal know-it-all has plagued the seriousness of the movement. Unfortunately for those protesters trying to dodge stereotypes and achieve real change, next week’s protests in Gainesville, Florida are not going to help.

Gainesville’s own No Idea Records is responsible for leading Occupy Gainesville – or as they’ve code named it, “The Fest 10.” The festival is based around performances by live bands who sing protest songs through loud PA systems, but oddly enough, the crowds just yell right back at the bands. This circle jerk of political frustration seems like it could be literally the most unproductive of efforts, but this protest seems to have a multitude of ideas that will do nothing to punish corrupt big business. Let’s look at some of these travesties.

  • The protesters are meeting in a Holiday Inn, one of America’s largest chains of hotels.
  • The festival is sponsored by Pabst Blue Ribbon, which recently sold to an investor for about $250 million.
  • Instead of filling out the lineups, the organizers are making a band called Mystery Band play thirteen times.
  • Lifetime isn’t even playing.

The leaders of various other Occupy movements are certainly not happy about the plan for Occupy Gainesville. One leader anonymously contributed the following quote:

“It doesn’t even sound like a real protest at all. It’s just going to be a bunch of ex-college students on their iPhones, playing acoustic guitars, bringing their poor dogs along, and taking naps every four hours. That’s not productive, that’s embarrassing and annoying.”

No matter what goes down on next weekend, you can bet this editor will be nowhere near Gainesville, Florida next weekend.


  • I AM A PUBLISHEDISH PHOTOGRAPHER!

  • Matt

    Further proof that Spoonboy is everywhere all the time.

  • I can also assure you “this editor” was nowhere near Gainesville – nor even speaking to anyone in Gainesville – when he wrote this nonsense.

    Not a single statement made is factually correct.

    Especially claiming that “The Fest” >> IS << Occupy Gainesville. Its an independent event – an annual event – in Gainesville.

    And No Idea Records has had no responsibility or association with Occupy Gainesville.

    And Occupy Gainesville is occupying the Downtown Bo Diddley Plaza – no where near the Holiday Inn.

    And Pabst Blue Ribbon is not sponsoring it.

    What stereotype do you fit – person who just makes stuff up and thinks they are an expert.

    This is pathetic.

    • Smart Guy

      Dear Charlie-

      You are stupid, and your thoughts are stupid. I can prove this by viewing the post you just made. Anyone with half a brain would agree- You are stupid. So, shut your stupid mouth, and start being a real AMERICAN, not the STUPID one you currently are, STUPID.

    • Scotto

      Nice troll Charlie, almost got me there.